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Watch those pockets!
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Well, having been a pirate myself, many moons ago, I know how the bastards think. And where they go. And where they hide. Who better to catch pirates than an old, crotchety pirate himself? Who would know better than a mean old pirate to know where all the booty is hidden?
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Spammers will be burned at the stake, right along with all of the nasty pirates. Unintelligent comments will be used as kindling wood, so be nice!